Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Jerry, you need to find god
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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