apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
