i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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