take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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