I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
