i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm passing your future prison.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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