I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
