Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
