If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
