Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
