4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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