Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
