anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
