After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Blood and glitter go together right?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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