I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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