We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
