We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
