He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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