so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
