your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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