Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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