Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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