i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize