i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
