the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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