I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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