How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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