If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
