Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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