I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
