It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
