dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
