8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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