dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
