He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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