I'm eating all of the evidence.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
