I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
