It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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