Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
