I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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