ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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