I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
