My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just google imaged poop.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
you made out with another girl for some wings
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
