Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I wish you could order shots online.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
