did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
