xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
