im about as happy as oj after his trial
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
