allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
