LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
