4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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