dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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