In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
