I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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