clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
