did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
