Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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