Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
