Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
